If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
