Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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