were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
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He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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