just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
