I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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