alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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