You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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