is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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