So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My life is pants optional.
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