i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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