Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
