how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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