the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
