last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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