she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
