Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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