He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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