Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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