He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize