So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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