if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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