He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize