lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
