I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
