the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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