So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
