Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
