I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
