Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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