i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize