it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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