oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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