for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Enjoy the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize