Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
