I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
