i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize