His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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