Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
