i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
