The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
