Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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