My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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