I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
