My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
