I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just cut my nipple shaving
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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