Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
