I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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