Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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