it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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