he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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