I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
