I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
