he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
