OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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