I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we should paint friendship bongs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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