The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
