its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
