i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
