it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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