im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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