found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
