More tranny stories later!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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