That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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