Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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